A sad commentary on society

Meet Stephanie Kuleba. Stephanie (right) was an 18-year-old senior at West Boca Community High School in Boca Raton. Cheerleader, honor student, bound for the University of Florida this fall to begin her studies towards her dream of becoming a physician.

Stephanie died early Saturday morning, apparently as the result of complications of breast augmentation surgery.

Kuleba was beloved by classmates at West Boca High, more than 400 of whom gathered outside the school Sunday night for a candlelight vigil. They hung Kuleba's shining silver pompons and cheerleading T-shirt on the fence outside the school and left flowers, pictures and handwritten notes beneath the display.

One note had lyrics to Hey Jude, a Beatles song that Kuleba loved.

"Take a sad song and make it better," the note read.

In her reserved "senior" parking spot, the one where she parked her white Lexus every school day, friends placed more flowers, teddy bears and pictures.

"It's hard to believe she's gone," said classmate Vanessa Villegas[,] 16. "She just made everybody's day by having a good attitude about life. Today was a hard day for a lot of people."

Organizers charged $1 for each candle at the vigil - money that will be given to Kuleba's family for expenses.

With her long blond hair and shy smile, Kuleba charmed people from an early age, friends said. A talented athlete, her path toward cheerleading began with competitive gymnastics.

In 2000, National Gymnastics of Boca Raton took 30 of its students, including Kuleba, to one of the nation's biggest gymnastics invitationals - the Gasparilla Gymnastics Classic in Tampa. Competing in bars, beam, floor and vault against others in her age group and skill level, an 11-year-old Kuleba placed first all-around.

"She was very talented," said Leila Milgrim, 16, a friend of Kuleba's. "She was a great athlete. And she had all of these other things going for her, too. She did everything well."

Stephanie had been preparing for her prom. She had just gotten her dress. Then graduation, then college, then med school ...

Can someone explain to me why a girl who seemingly has it all -- beauty, brains, popularity, a bright future -- feels the need to undergo cosmetic surgery at all, let alone at the age of 18? What kind of society is it when the size of one's breasts becomes the end-all-be-all of existence? Were there no friends or family willing to counsel her on this, to assure her that she had plenty going for her and that she had plenty of time to contemplate body enhancement, if that's really the way she wanted to go?

As the father of a daughter myself, I want to remember this story. I never knew Stephanie personally, nor do I know anyone who likely knew her. But my point is that we ought to appreciate the intrinsic value in each of us. I've been opposed to cosmetic surgery as long as I can remember -- yes, I know there may be reasons, even medical ones, for doing it, and indeed I've undergone LASIK surgery (not technically cosmetic, but related, I suppose). However, are the risks truly worth the reward? Stephanie was 18 and presumably able to decide such things for herself (I've no idea who would have paid for the surgery, by the way, but it would be interesting to know) but it still seems terribly young to me for such a decision. I guess cosmetic surgery no longer resides strictly in the realm of the older and less self-confident among us.

UPDATE (5:52 pm 3/26/08): I have decided to remove the word "augmentation" from the post above, because more recent information suggests that Stephanie's surgery, although cosmetic in nature, was not for breast enlargement. According to this morning's Palm Beach Post, the surgery was to correct asymmetrical breasts and an inverted nipple. In addition, Stephanie's death may have been caused by a rare condition that causes one to be highly vulnerable to complications from the use of certain anesthesia. This does not, however, change the primary point of my post, which is that our societal obsession with bodily perfection can -- and in this case did -- lead to tragedy.

One commenter below believes that we are "asses" for relying on news coverage for the information. I'm not sure what the anonymous commenter would have us do otherwise, but there it is.