License plate madness

Sweet holy mother of fuck.

See what happens when I'm busy with concerts all weekend? I miss nuggets like this:

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for people who "believe" in something. Jesus, God, Allah, Mickey Mouse...it's all good to me. But it's also personal. And it's certainly not something any state should be in the business of promoting.

So when I see that Florida legislators are proposing this...

I get pissed off.

"Pissed off" is an understatement. I wish I'd seen this before my radio show today. If you think you've heard me rant before, you would have had to lock up the children and small pets for this one.

What the fuck does the Legislature think they're doing? This is America, you douchebags! You can't establish an official religion or use state resources to advance a particular religion! I don't care what the current crowd of assclowns in the SCOTUS majority has to say about it, you can't do this. It's bad enough that you've got your goddamned anti-choice "Choose Life" plates, and yeah, other states have been pretty bold about their faith-based plates, but even Indiana manages to tie it at least superficially to patriotism.

Nope, not here in Florida. You've gotta go all-out, snake-handling, Huckabee-loving fundamentalist on us. What, the proposed Confederate Heritage license plate isn't good enough for you mouth-breathing fake-Christian wingnut fuckers? Now, you've got the Jewish and Muslim plates all ready to go as well, right? No? Really? Just Christian? Please explain to me exactly where in the Constitution that kind of preferential treatment is permissible. I'll wait.

[crickets]

I love Florida, truly I do. This is my home. And that's why I fight so hard to keep these fundie whackjobs from making it a laughingstock. But I'm obviously losing the fight. They make me so fucking sick, and they ought to make every sentient American sick, too.

UPDATE (9:44 am 4/15/08): Eschaton commenter leibniz makes an excellent point: he suggests Flying Spaghetti Monster plates.

I wish I were proficient at PhotoShop, so I could whip something like that up ...

UPDATE (5:47 pm 4/15/08): Re: leibniz's suggestion in the last update -- click here.