It's a Major Award!

Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmyGOSH! I just don't know what to say! I mean, I didn't prepare an acceptance speech for being the very first Asshat of the Month over at MilitaryPundits.com -- I mean, with so many asshats out there, I never thought I had a chance! -- but here goes anyway:

Oh! I'm so out of breath ... just tell the orchestra to wait a minute, okay? I have a lot of people to thank ...

First of all, thank you Mom and Dad and my whole family. Your hyper-conservative views caused me to open my mind up in college and see the truth and learn the facts and ... well, you know, just thank you. You really made all this possible. Oh, um ... thank you, Miss July -- as always, you are the wind beneath my wings! Thank you to my beautiful children, Jr. and Jrette., just for being you.

Let's see ... I'm so flustered! *giggle* Thank you, Wes Flinn, my blogfather, for getting me started on this silly blog thing that ultimately led to me being named -- wow! -- Asshat of the Month! Of course, thank you, Al Gore, for inventing the Internet and blogs and computers and electricity ... thanks to Keith Olbermann for putting my video on your show -- you're the greatest, Keith! EEEEEEEEEK! Thanks to Troy and Jeremy the microphone guy and all you teabaggers in Pensacola and everywhere for helping this dream become a reality!

Who am I forgetting? OH! Thank you, MilitaryPundits.com for bestowing this AMAZING honor on me! I'll always be the very first Asshat of the Month! I'm so proud and excited ... wow! And thank you especially to Andy "Brick" Wahl of MP. You, sir, are the visionary behind this, the producer, the director, the writer ... you took what started out a simple disagreement about political and economic issues and made it personal in your own special way ... YOU made this award happen, Andy! YOU came over to MY blog and insisted I'd planned the whole video thing even when I hadn't, and you just couldn't let go -- and I'm the lucky beneficiary of your thought and hard work! Thank you SO MUCH!!

Thanks to all the teabaggers -- oh, wait, I already said that! *giggle* Well, thanks to everyone in the wingnut blogosphere for continuing to support and prop up the crazed nutjobs who are making you obsolete! Teabags today, tossed salads tomorrow!

Oh, no, there's the orchestra -- you ninnies! Anyway, I just know I'm forgetting someone ... oh, thank you God, Buddha, Vishnu, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and all you other AWESOME deities ... and thanks, President Obama, just because!

Thank you! Thank you all! I'll treasure this always!